So, as I was saying, I tend to find myself disposed to disappointment. Previously such malady has variously been attributable to finding myself having spent 10 years (ten of my best years mind) working for a building maintenance company, not having a girlfriend, being sexually abused as a child any other excuse I could fall back on (such as poor weather, the confinements of not being rich and a bit of a funny tummy).
Now that I free from the burden of work, I have a girlfriend, the sunÂ’s out and IÂ’m much more regular nowadays thank you very much for asking I still find myself disappointed.
Am I equally as disappointed I wonder? Perhaps IÂ’m actually less disappointed than I was previously but when added to the sense of disappointment IÂ’ve acquired about not feeling overwhelmingly disappointment-free, it all adds up to about the same.
Perhaps I’m just self obsessed and ought to adopt the think positive attitude found increasingly among my peers. Frankly, such sentiments make me want to punch people. “Everything happens for a reason”. “It wasn’t meant to be”. It’s all very well if you believe in God and want to unburden yourself from the difficulties of complex thought and the realisation that there isn’t actually any intrinsic meaning to most occurrences but otherwise it’s just not good enough.
I realise IÂ’m out of my depth here and will desist without further ado.
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